You Gotta Louvre It!

In 2013, the four of us (Carol, Maddy, Torie, and I – Julia was doing a six week program at either Oxford or Cambridge and joined us in Normandy) were all set to go to the Louvre on Tuesday, before flying out Wednesday.

We got back to the hotel Monday late afternoon.  I checked the guidebook, and it turns out the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays.  We grabbed a cab and got to the Louvre 45 minutes before it closed.  The ticket seller asked if we were sure we wanted tickets with so little time before closing.  We had no choice – it was a drive-by arting!  In 45 minutes, we covered the Mona Lisa, Winged Victory, Venus de Milo, and Hammurabi’s Code, as well as a few other random art works. We were the last people who bought Louvre tickets that day in 2013.

The lessons of this near-fiasco?

1.     The Louvre is closed on Tuesdays.

2.    Always note when attractions are closed for a day.

3.    It’s not as important anymore, because you should buy tickets in advance for major sights, because why wait in line in hopes of scoring a ticket that might not be there.

(Editor’s Note: Is that event that turned you into a crazed planner for your trips?  Writer: Well, I hadn’t thought of that until now, but it might well be, now that you mention it.)

I had not only arranged for tickets at 9:30 entrance on Wednesday for the Louvre, I also hired a guide from Tours by Locals (I’d say we’ve been happy with 90% of the guides we’ve hired on there). 

Sara turned out to be an excellent guide.  Easy to understand, she brought us in-depth information without cramming our heads so full we couldn’t remember any of it.  Sara’s WhatsApp is +33 786 37 3457 for anyone looking for a really good guide for a tour of the Louvre.

Carol (and I!) like guides for art museum tours, because they know their way around.  Otherwise we would be wandering aimlessly, looking at the museum maps like we’re Clark Griswold on a bender.  Good guides are very personable and knowledgeable, able to explain the work’s place in art history. 

Sara also laughed heartily at my two art jokes.  Carol says Sara was only being polite, but Carol might be a little cynical about jokes she’s heard approximately 300 times each.  But that’s how I know they are great jokes – telling them never gets old!

Anyhow, Sara got us in through the less crowded group entrance, so we skipped the worst of the lines.  We came into the Main Pyramid.  Designed by noted architect I.M. Pei and opened in 1989, the pyramid, like the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C.,  was widely controversial when it opened but it has grown on many.  Personally, I have gone from neutral to positive on the pyramid over the years.  

(Editor’s Note: Glen, nobody cares about your opinion.  Writer: Hey, it’s my blog so I care.  And besides, that’s just your opinion!)

The Dude Abides

We started the tour down below the Louvre, at the footings from back in the day when it was a castle fortress, built to protect Paris from Norman raiders.

The original base of the

Louvre, when it was a

fortress, not a palace/art

gallery.

The Louvre has more than 30,000 works of art, and my goal was to see them all in one three hour tour, the same length tour of the SS Minnow was supposed to be!  I’m kidding – more than three hours in an art museum, no matter how interesting the artwork or the guide, and I’m going into an art-induced stupor.

By the way, while everyone pronounces “Lou-vuh,” it’s more fun to pronounce phonetically – “Louv-ray.”  Use my pronunciation on Parisians, and they will laugh and laugh.  “Ha, ha, you are funny like Jerry Lewis” they will say, slapping you on the back while looking for a way to get away from you.

Our first stop was at a large, still-in-great shape Egyptian Sphinx from way back in the day.  

Does he walk like an Egyptian?

Um, no.  If a Sphinx starts

walking, we'd better hope for

the seven plagues of Egypt

to save us!

From there, we dipped into the Greek Statues section, which feature the first statues to show people (and their gods) in motion, not just static figures.  Sara filled us in on those artistic breakthroughs, providing an appreciation for those early classics, including various statues of Athena, the patron goddess of Athens.  Depictions of Medusa are also quite popular.

We saw some Parthenon Friezes from the mid-century B.C. and a handful of Roman works.

These statues are like the first steps towards the remarkable ability to capture the human body in motion, and look in some cases to the precursors to the great sculptures by Michelangelo and Bernini.

The first of the major pieces of work we came to was Venus de Milo, the second century B.C. goddess of love.  Her well-proportioned body underscores human movement, balance, and order.  Her twisting pose, known as contrapposto (“counterpoise”) gives a balanced, centered, nearly mathemetical view that showed life.

Venus, goddess of

love that you are
Surely, the things I ask
Can't be too great a task

Next we saw an unusual statue laying down – it was a statue of a mythical human – featuring both female breasts and a male penis.  The later owner of the statue had Bernini create a Renaissance mattress masterpiece – where she/he (I’m not picking anyone else’s pronouns for them, I’m just happy to be know my pronouns) is on said mattress, which rises and falls underneath based on weight.  

Click for a closer-up look at the his

and her parts. The piece was sculpted

before an executive order.

Our next classic was Winged Victory, a Greek statue from approximately 190 B.C. Created to celebrate a naval victory, her clothes are wind-blown and clinging to her in places because of sea-spray.  Alas, her arms are broken off, so we can’t see how she’s celebrating the victory, but she also lost her head.  It’s her body and wings that draw your attention.  From there we saw her outstretched finger, found in 1950.  The Turkish government was happy to give France the finger.

One of many classic Greek statues. 

A royal fireplace.

Winged Victory.

Another masterpiece was the Louvre itself.  From Winged Victory, we went into the luscious Apollo Gallery.  It is a room of grandeur, with gold leaf, stucco walls, and painted ceilings.  It holds portraits of the many French kings, including Henry IV (alas, Herman’s Hermits never did a song about him), Francois I, famed for bringing Leonardo da Vinci to Paris.

(Editor’s Note: Thanks, now that song “Henry the VIIIth is wormed its way into my brain.  Writer: The best part of that song is how they pronounce “Henry” as “Enry.”  The second-best part of that song is how they say, at the start of the second verse, “Second verse, same as the first!” – that’s one of the great curveballs in song-writing history.  And the third-best part of the song is. . .Editor: Stop!  Enough!  And no, it’s not “one of the great curveballs in song-writing history – it’s a lazy excuse to NOT write an actual second verse!).

Readers, can you tell I’m conflicted about the song?

The ceiling of the famed Apollo Room.

From the Apollo Room.

We saw any number of Italian Renaissance paintings, including by superstars Leonardo da Vinci  Having read Walter Issacson’s book on da Vinci, it was a particular thrill for me to see those five paintings, culminating in Mona Lisa.

(Btw, da Vinci had a code he lived by.  There's even a book about it. 😏)

Saint Sebastian, by Perugino.

John the Baptist, by Da Vinci

Leonardo's Virgin of the Rocks.

Leonardo's Virgin and Child with St. Anne

For the Mona Lisa, we were pleasantly surprised that we could get up front to the rope line separating the masses from the greatest painting ever.  And, no, we didn't even push or shove our way there -- there was so much movement the holes that were opened you would think the NY Giants offensive line did it (unfortunately they only open holes when they are pass blocking, not run blocking).

Unlike young influencers caring only for

the clicks, my selfie was taken behind

the rope line, sunshine.

"Are you warm, are you real

Mona Lisa Or just a cold and

lonely,  lovely work of art"

We saw other famed paintings, included the Wedding at Cana, The Coronation of Emperor Napoleon, which is actually Napoleon’s coronation of his wife Josephine as Empress, but when you take the Emperor’s shilling, you call the painting what he wants it called.  The best part of the picture is the unhappy pope, who did not get to crown anyone.  Why come all the way from Rome if you don’t get to be a center of attention?

Napoleon's insignia.

The Coronation of Napoleon by

Jacques Louis-David.  The only

way it could be better is if it were

painted by Jean-Luc Picard.

The Raft of the Medusa by Theodore

Garicault.  His friends called him "Teddy."

Liberty Leading The People

by Eugene Delacroix

And the full painting.

Other paintings included the inspiring Liberty Leading the People and the tragic painting of The Raft of the Medusa.

The wrap-up of the tour started with the Michelangelo statues of the Dying Slave and the Rebellious Slave – unfinished works that were supposed to be part of a larger Michelangelo sculpture, but plans changed.  Those were great to see as well, having just finished reading “Michelangelo, His Epic Life” by Martin Gayford.

(Editor: Are you humble bragging now – having read lengthy, in-depth books about both Da Vinci and Michelangelo in the last year!  Writer, head down, kicks a small rock: Maybe.  Let’s just keep moving.)

Michelangelo's Dying Slave:

His Rebellious Slave rebelled

 against me getting a good photo.

Our last piece was Canova’s jaw-dropping sculpture of Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss which would make for a gift that wins Valentine’s Day no matter what your wife gets you! 

Cupid, draw back your bow
And let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart

for me, for me
Cupid, please hear my cry
And let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart

for me