I Felt Like Rodney Dangerfield In Caddyshack, But Not As Funny

I guess, when I made lunch reservations at the Rijks Restaurant, which is part of the Rijksmuseum, I sort of noticed that it is a One Star Michelin Restaurant.

But I didn’t believe it.  After all, it was lunch.  It’s a museum restaurant.  Maybe at night it transforms into a One Star Michelin Restaurant, but there’s no way it is that nice during the lunch.

Our reservations were for 1pm, more than enough time to eat and make to the entrance of the museum by our 2:30 ticket.  We dressed as though we were going to a museum, since we actually were.  I was wearing a golf shirt and shorts.  Carol was dressed nicer than I, but she wasn’t dressed to the nines either.

(Editor: “Carol was dressed nicer than I” – Evergreen tweet if I ever saw one!)

My first inkling I misjudged was when we opened the entrance door and the maitre d’ disapprovingly sneered at us and asked condescendingly if we had reservations.  He was visibly disappointed when not only did I say, “yes,” but our last name matched one on his reservation sheet.  Either I had actually a reservation, or we got very lucky (it was the former, not the latter).

He led us to our table, and the whole “One Star Michelin” thing came back to me.  I googled, and sure enough.  And here I had picked it for the convenience and because it had good food.

This may surprise you (it sure surprised me!), but I was the only one there in shorts and a non-fashionable shirt.  Some men were wearing ties, and all had nice shirts.  Now, there were men there in jeans and sneakers, and some even wearing plain colored t-shirts – not an ironic Carhartt t-shirt.  

At least the maitre d’ was the only member of the staff who we dealt with who was outwardly snobby.  The rest were quite nice to us, even if we heard peals of laughter in the kitchen when they went out of sight.  Okay, I made the peals of laughter up, but it might have happened.

In a role reversal, Carol was the unflappable one about our clothes.  She noted, “well, Glen, as you would say, we’ll never see these people again.”  The third time she said it, I shot back, “that’s true, because they’ve already put us on their ‘never allow back’ list.”  Carol laughed.

We did not have the six-course tasting menu.  Or the four course lunch menu.  Instead, we each ordered a la carte, which, since we’re talking French, was treated as a faux pas.

The food was great, but besides the clothing debacle, I will never go to a Michelin Star restaurant for lunch again.  Of course, I didn’t realize we were going to one for lunch in the first place!  We were a bit rushed, we didn’t have any of the wine/wine pairings which are a hallmark of a Michelin Star dinner, 

Don’t get me wrong, the food was quite tasty, the presentation was fabulous, and the service impeccable.  I just felt like a fish out of water.

As we left, the maitre d’ was not at his post, so he couldn’t sneer at me one last time.  I’m sure he later pulled the security tape so he could mock me one last time.

(Editor: Are you always this paranoid?  Blogger: Eh, maybe.)