Tuesday, August 20, 2024

Crash Davis Has Nothing On Me

Well, going for an ATV ride seemed like a good idea at the time -- a way to ride scenically through small villages, up mountains, to views of Dubrovnik and the Adriactic.

And it was a good idea, until I crashed.

And sort of ruined the trip. . .for Carol.  Bruised ribs are not fun, and she's in pain.  

Ugh.  Double Ugh.  UGH!

Well, we'll get to that part later.

We were picked up from our apartment at 8:45 in a van.  Joining us on this ride were a British couple from Liverpool, and three Asian Englishmen friends from London, Birmingham, and OhIForgetTheNameOfTheOtherCity.

Shortly after getting into the van, "Suspicious Minds" came on the radio (the good Elvis version, not the great Dwight Yoakam version), and I said, "I'm enjoying this traditional Croatian music."  The people, aka my audience, laughed.

We drove a ways south along the coast through villages before coming to the ATV place.  After the obligatory filling out of paperwork and the obligatory "here's how to drive the ATV," we set off.  And stopped immediately.

Carol's ATV went a few feet and stopped.  It wouldn't move any further in high gear.  Rather than switch out ATVs, she decided she was cursed and just to hop on the back of mine.  Little did she realize what a large mistake she was making.

(Editor: You've already given away the story, so foreshadowing is kind of pointless now.  Writer: It's an old writing device. . .give away a key part of the story, so the read continues to get the painful details)

(Editor: I will give you props for the "Little. . .large" wordplay.  Writer: Thanks, I deserve it!) 

We headed off on our 35 kilometer trip, easily cruising through villages along paved roads.  Surrounded by mountains, and a dry climate, the views were special.  

Then we went off-road and onto a rocky trail.  But that didn't last long.  We were back on paved rural roads through the middle of nowhere with spectacular views all around. 

But soon we were back off-roading, and the track got much more challenging.  It was cool, but there were a number of whoop-de-doo's where I exclaimed aloud as I navigated the rocks and dips in the trail.

Oddly, the crash came on a not so difficult stretch of the trail.  

I have no idea what caused the crash.  I've been told by a woman in my life that I let the ATV drift too far left, which must have been what happened.

Next thing I knew the ATV, under my leadership, was going down off the trail and into a small tree.  Then it flipped on its side, spilling both Carol and I onto the ground.  She recollects pushing herself out from under the ATV.

She then rushed to my side, as I was a bit dazed and confused, thinking "how the heck did this happen?"

Maddy was behind us, so she stopped immediately and rushed to our aid.  

Oh don't worry, I immediately felt embarrassed.  The last time I caused an accident on a motor vehicle I was 19 or 20.

(Editor: You don't remember exactly the year it happened?  Writer: Oh, don't worry, my brother Rick knows.  Anyhow, thinking back I'm betting I was 19.)

(Editor: "Caused?"  Well, yes, I've been hit other times, but it is not my fault!)

Anyhow, the ATV was on its side and not going to be ready to go.  We ended up paying a surprisingly modest fee for the accident. 

So we took the loser seats in the guide's buggy (there were two guides, one on an ATV in the front, and the other playing sweeper in a buggy in the back) for the rest of the ride.

Here we are five days later (I'm always behind on the blog) and my cuts are still oozing at times.  Carol has it much worse, with sore ribs, as well as black and blue marks.

(Editor: And she still talks to you?  Writer: I'm as shocked as you.)

(Editor: Wait, you left out a vowel or two in "Mount Srd."  Writer: No.  Croatia has any number of words without vowels.  I don't make mistakes.  Editor: You mean, other than crashing an ATV.  Writer: Well, when you put it like that, um, yeah.)

Just to prolong the agony, we stopped twice for fabulous views from Mount Srd of Dubrovnik and the Adriatic Sea.  The Brits were very kind and checked on how we were feeling.

Then we returned, paid for the damages, and got driven back in the van.  Me, a chastened man.  Carol, an in pain woman.  

At least Maddy enjoyed the whole ATV.

Me?  My career riding ATVs is over.  Done.  Finished.  Kaput.

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