REI Trip Riffs -- Vol. #1

Faithful readers know that Riffs are my random observations about the trip, the area/country I am in, etc. . .glamping was perfect for me, and, it seems, everyone in the group. . .breakfast was made for us, dinner was made for us, lunch was made for us, the tents were set up on wooden bases, and we didn’t have to do much pre-hiking and post-hiking, except focus on our own needs. . .our guides even delivered insulated thermoses with the hot beverage of everyone’s choice (within reason. . .it’s not Starbucks) at 6:30 am, which was appreciated by everyone except me (cause I’m not a coffee or tea drinker).

The showers were great, and we had flush toilets.  And cots with pads.  And camp chairs on the porch. . .The light in the tent was pretty weak. . .but I love my headlamp and that was great. . .I’m thinking of walking everywhere with my headlamp on, and ready to go (not really, but it would be awesome!).

The little blow-up pillow brought blew up nicely, but every time I flipped from side to side on the cot, the little thing would squirt away. . .until I learned to hold on to it each time.

Observations about the van seating are a funny insight into human nature. . .with few exceptions everyone sat the whole trip where they sat on the ride from Vegas to Bryce. . .I got a single seat in the third row by the sliding door, so I was always last in and one of the first out. . .I’m sure if someone tried to grab my seat I would have allowed it, but it’s also possible I would have strangled them with a charger cord. . .but we never had to find out, so that’s good.

The group felt a great deal of affection for our guides. . .especially Amanda and Chance. . .I digress. . .but the guy guides were named Chance, Chase, and Kale. . .at least Amanda was Amanda and not something like Starflower Peace. . .anyhow, it was not just the Stockholm Syndrome that the group felt after being cooped up with Amanda and Chance in the car and, to some degree, camp. . .the affection was earned by their patience and incredible competence to get the job done. . .the group wasn’t quite City Slickers, but we weren’t far off. . .and yet they handled every question with a calmness and grace. . .it helped that there wasn’t much (if any) whining (although I prefer the British word, “whinging” – very descriptive).

The food exceeded expectations.  Not all of it was good, but the vast majority was very good.  (Since this blog won’t be going viral anytime soon, I can say that the second night’s beef stew – or whatever it was – was about as easy to chew as my post-hike socks.  Others in the group may disagree, and you have that right, but, um, you are also wrong.)  On the other hand, the third night’s dinner was as good as it gets in the middle of nowhere.

We weren’t off the grid, but we weren’t on it either. . .I did get emails at the Bryce camp, and even called Carol from it. . .the Zion camp is completely off the grid. . .absolutely no connectivity. . .everyone was fine with it (our guides are the least Millennial Millennials ever). . .but we also figured out whilst riding in the van when we had connectivity.  Then, it was boom! Heads down, texting, hoping emails would download, daytrading (just kidding, I hope).

Two vignettes from the return to civilization (not sure anymore that’s the right word, but it will have to do).  First, finally watched the movie “127 Hours” on the flight home. . .better after the trip than before it!  I figured I had to watch it (I had read an article years ago about it) after joking that we needed a knife in case we needed to cut someone’s arm off while Amanda was listing off equipment we needed to bring on a hike.

Second was getting a pedicure on Saturday morning because my toe smash.  Jenny, my pedicurist (this may shock you, but growing up, I never expected to have a pedicurist, but I everytime I go I wish I had one sooner) was shocked at the condition of my bloody toe and shattered toenail.  The toe is still pretty mangled, but I never once thought of amputating it.

Daily camp life was pretty regimented and free.  It was regimented in that we were up at 6:30, breakfast at 7:15, on the road to the trail between 8-8:30, depending.  Then we would return around 5 pm, have a beer, shower, have another beer, and dinner around 6:30.  Once dinner was done, we went back out of the large dinner tent to the campfire circle to talk and stare at the brilliant night sky before hitting the sack whenever.

Camp life was free in that we didn’t have many chores to do, so it gave us time to relax (not the guides, but the transactional nature of capitalism).  I would rise between 5:30 and 5:45 so that I could blog a bit each morning.

Four nights of camping was the right amount.  REI offers a cool nine day hiking and camping trip that hits all five Utah National Parks, but honestly I know I couldn’t do nine days of camping, expecially since I slept well just one out of the four nights.

All in all, I was blown away by Bryce and Zion, and will need to get back.  Sometimes I go somewhere, love it, but say, okay, that’s covered, no need to go back.  This trip fits under the “need to go back” header.