Riffs on Egypt

Veteran readers tell me they love the riffs.  For new readers, my riffs are random thoughts on random things that strike me in that country.  If you don’t care for one paragraph, no fear, as the next paragraph is about something totally different.

So there are two Egyptian beers that I know of, Sakara and Stella.  Down south in Upper Egypt (just wait, I will revisit that topic too), the only option appears to be Stella.  I had assumed “Stella” was “Stella Artois,” which is a totally terrible beer.  Look, I know some of my readers like Stella Artois, and I still love you as a reader anyhow, but face it, you are dead wrong.  My beloved brother-in-law went through a Stella Artois phase a few years ago and it was a hellscape of six packs of bad beer showing up at our house anytime he did.

Anyhow, I got off track with that one.  So, faced with a choice of Heineken and what I thought was Stella Artois, I would choose Sakara, except they didn’t have it.  So I would order Heineken.  Until the first night on the Lake Nasser cruise, when I ordered Sakara in the lounge.  The waiter came back with a Stella, that didn’t lool at all like Stella Artois, so I settled for it.  Then I read “Authentic Egyptian Lager Beer” and realized it was NOT the Artois variety of “Stellas” any more than it was the “Stella” of “Streetcar Named Desire” fame.  

Editor: You said in paragraph one that every paragraph in the riffs was about different topics.  Blogger: Any Bolger brother is required, by law, to make an exception for beer.

You know you are off the beaten path when you’re in a country where you need to not only drink bottled water, but use it to brush your teeth, such as Myanmar, Mexico, Thailand, Peru, Ecuador, and now Egypt.  (Mrs Iron Tourist and I don’t remember if China fits that description).  Somebody on Facebook should make a list of countries where you use bottled water for brushing teeth so people could brag about how many they’ve been to.  Our number has a chance in the next year to nearly double to eleven.

Apparently there are not many stop lights in Cairo.  Or many traffic laws.   We only saw one traffic accident in four bus trips in the greater Cairo area, which considering the traffic crazy, was pretty impressive.  Next winter we are going to Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, which, based on amazed reports from both Julia and Maddy, apparently makes crazy places like Egypt, Rome, and Boston look like child’s play.

On the ride from Aswan to Abu Simbel, we were passing cars on a two lane road, when a small truck was coming our way.  Passing a slow car, the oncoming car turned its lights on and off, honked, and had to nearly get off the road.  Well, that was close.  On that drive, Neil and I would take turns tapping each other across the aisle.  The other would look up and see a near crash, an overloaded vehicle, or an impossibly underpowered vehicle tooling along the side of the road.  The scene that perplexed us most was when we would see, in the middle of nowhere, someone walking along the road.  

Egyptians like to wear winter coats when it is 70-80 degrees.  But at least they are also wearing long pants.

For litter, on a scale of Switzerland to Myanmar, Egypt is much closer to Myanmar, but still quite distant from the public mess in Myanmar.  No matter where you come down on the plastic vs. paper straws debate, understand that Myanmar produces a seeming 80% of all littered plastic straws in the oceans (Editor’s disclaimer: Not based on a real study, it just seems like 80%).

As Mrs. Iron Tourist notes, Egyptians are good looking.  Very good looking.  It’s a good thing COVID is essentialy dead here, as we saw very few, if any, Egyptians wearing masks.  So instead we got to see their stunning good looks.

Anytime a country has a board called the “Supreme Council of Antiquities” it says something.  I’m not sure what, but I do think they take themselves too seriously.

Editor: Uh, the US has an institution called the Supreme Court.  How’s that any different?  Writer: I don’t know but “Supreme Council of Anything” has an Star Wars Empire feel to it.  I suppose it would be worse if the Supreme Court was called the “Supreme Council of Judges.”  Or I would be used to it and not find the phrase jarring.

So, back to the whole Upper Egypt/Lower Egypt thing.  It’s not hard to remember that Upper Egypt is lower, whilst Lower Egypt is upper.  Arguably it makes sense that Upper is where the Nile starts flowing through the country, while Lower is where the Nile dumps into the Mediterranean Sea.  But it is still weird.   

Prove me wrong: Hieroglyphics are the first emojis.